Xerxes Beard
Ask any of my kids what that green, straggly wispy moss is hanging from the trees in the forest, and they'll tell you without a moments hesitation that it is Xerxes Beard - not Spanish Moss, not Tillandsia Usneoides, but XERXES Beard.
When the kids were little and we used to car trip all over the place, we used to play a game to keep them occupied. Starting with the letter A, and working our way through each member of the family and letter of the alphabet, we had to name something that we could see out of the window of the vehicle that started with that letter: Apple tree, Barn, Cow....... until one day we got to my turn and the letter X. Realizing that there was a serious shortage of xylophones outside the car in that particular part of the country, I happened to notice all the moss hanging from the trees so I said, "Xerxes Beard".
"What?", they asked. I decided to give them a history lesson and told them of Xerxes, a King of ancient Persia, who had a long wispy beard strangely similar to the moss in the trees, and that because he was so famous, the moss had been named after him. I won the game, by the way. I don't know how long it took before they realized that I made it all up, but to this day that is what they call it and I'm sure that's what they will teach their kids to call it. I'm shooting for an entry in the dictionary.
I've since used this same tactic on several other occaisions when I was pretty sure my audience didn't know the correct answer and for darn sure, neither did I. It's all in the delivery. If you say it with enough conviction, and your "facts" are at least plausible, chances are they'll believe you and you won't have to admit that you really don't know.
I'm sure most of you have done the same thing, so c'mon folks let's hear your version of "Xerxes Beard".
posted by Papa @ 8:28 PM
9 comments
9 Comments:
When I come back to the US I want Heather to show me this X beard. Does she have your talent to make people believe stories like that? I'll have to check.
We road trip a few times every year.
I don't know why, but we say 'cow' in a very blase voice, during any conversation or silence whilst driving and upon spotting one.
Or did you mean for me to tell you about some BS thing my Dad made up?
Oh, there's millions - but he often said we were not allowed to do things because they were prohibited by the New York State Athletic Commission.
And that, my Love, is why you rule when we play Balderdash.
Of course, as your wife, my DNA is genetically encoded "to know when you're just full of it". So we both have rare talents!
I think that's why we don't play the game anymore. Because we all know Dad's a big cheater! A fun cheater, but a cheater, nonetheless.
This may not be exactly what you're looking for...but my father convinced me that mahi mahi was Hawaiian game fowl. And I believed him. Until I was 21, in the Caribbean with some friends, and eating it in a salad, at which point my friends commented that it was so weird that I was eating it, since I don't eat fish...and I said, "This isn't fish, it's mahi mahi...." .....and you can guess how the story went from there.
Hi there, papa rocks. Its nice to read you, too. You have such nice kids and they must get some of their creativity from you, too!
Once, my dad lied to me and cheated to win a roadtrip game. He made up a name for some hanging moss. I still feel betrayed whenever I think of that story. :) That one's gonna down in family legend.
It's usually our daughter who comes up with the BS around here. We just go along for the ride.
I aspire to be so tricky.
My dad once told me that Texas Stadium had a whole in the roof because they ran out of money before it was finished. I was grown before I figured out he was joking.
Post a Comment
<< Home